She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
