He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
