Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
