I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
