I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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