We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
