it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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