so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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