I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
