He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
