Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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