If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
