dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
