Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
