Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
