i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
