shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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