Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
