I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
