Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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