She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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