Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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