My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
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I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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