Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
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How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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