just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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