he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize