Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
