like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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