:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
