I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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