you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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