this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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