He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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