he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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