i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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