smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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