i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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