Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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