my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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