I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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