I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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