this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
