oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
