i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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