what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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