We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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