okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
