I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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