We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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