i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize