My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
