How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
