your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
