Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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