More tranny stories later!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
