and she was petting her beer can
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
