you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
