I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you traded sex for a burrito?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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