So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
should my penis look like a turkey
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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