i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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