I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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