Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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