Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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