Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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